The Cape
by Snowcouger
Summary: Naruto really hates New Years. But this year is different.


AN: Just so this makes more sense:

**Kyuubi**

_Naruto talking to Kyuubi_

_Yondaime and Naru's mother_

Le'see: PwP, ranting, mild (for me anyway) angst, OOC out the wazzo, and prolly some other stuff. Oh, and as always, don't own (unfortunately), don't sue.

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Naruto turned over in his bed, mumbling quietly. He was usually a sound enough sleeper, (Hell, Gaara could snap and go on a rampage and he'd sleep right through it), but tonight was different. He'd been having strange dreams for most of the week. Teary sky-blue eyes; flashes of crimson hair, voices. Never any words though. Just voices...and maybe a garbled half word. He sighed and rolled onto his back, eyes opening. It was the same as all the other nights...weird dreams keeping him from really falling asleep. He lay there for several hours, slightly dozing, but still mostly awake. The grey half light of the cloudy dawn filtered through the tree and into his window before he finally gave up and rolled out of bed. Right onto his face. Sighing heavily, he reached for the pants he had tossed carelessly against the wall the previous night and tugged them on. He made his way across the way too small bedroom and out into the combined kitchenette/living room and grabbed a half eaten donut from the day before. He threw on the same shirt he'd worn the day before and went out for a walk.

Morning was always the best time for a walk. No annoyingly sadistic villager trying to kill him. Or calling him monster. Or demon. Or hell-spawn. Or something nastier. He worked his away across the very quiet village until he came to the foot of the hokage mountain. His gaze moved up to the man he both hated yet loved. "Why did you do it...?" he sighed as he walked toward the stairs that lead to a hidden path to the top of the mountain. Not that he needed a path... he was just as capable of climbing the mountain with out one. He'd done it enough times before finding the path he was currently walking on. Settling comfortably on the bench the he seriously doubted anyone else knew about...well accept for maybe the current Hokage... he stared out over the village that despised him. "Damn them..." he grumbled, years of anger and pain behind the simple phrase. It was morning's like this that really pissed him off. Normally he was more than happy to go along with his very well crafted mask.

Why today was differnt made no sense to him. The villagers were always really exceptionally horrible to him on his birthday/attack of the Kyuubi aniversery, but for some reason the first day of the new year always made them more vindictive than usual. Which made no sense at all. You'd think they'd just go about thier usual daily torture, but i guess someone sent out a 'Lets-be-super-horrible-to-Kyuubi-boy' memo or something.

For once he was actually happy to hear the bored ranting of the Kyuubi sealed inside of him. Which is pathetic really...

**Come on Kit. Get out there and have some fun with them. Just sitting here all day isn't gunna make anything better. Go crack a few heads, beat up an idiot or two. Kami knows they deserve it.**

_Shut the hell up you. I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo not in the mood for it right now._

He sighed heavily and drew spirals into the snow with the tip of his boot. "Why...?" That was all he could think about. It was the only thought on his mind. Why did the Yondaime seal the blasted best inside him? He just wanted answers. Nothing more. Nothing less. But of course, he wasn't allowed to know why. Something about a promise and he was too young and some other crap like that.

_You'll understand soon, just hang on a little longer..._

_Stupid wind...always whispering that today...and on my birthday for that matter... wonder why?_

**You should listen kit. Messages in the wind are usually a good thing.**

_Didn't I just tell you to shut the hell up?_

**Yes, but why the hell should I listen to a brat like you?**

_Teme._

**Right back at ya sport.**

_Kami, can I get one day, JUST ONE DAMN DAY! without your rambling? Is that to much to ask you jerk off!?!_

**No.**

_What would you say if i decided to jump off the damn mountain?_

**You wouldn't.**

_Wanna bet?_

Naruto had the strangest mental image of the Kyuubi's jaw dropping and his fur blanching from its usual rich gold to a really pale yellow. **You cannot be serious.**

_Gunna help me test that theory?_

**What the hell is wrong with you today Kit? I mean, yeah, your usually depressed today, but actually suicidal?**

_Whadda ya think ya baka. Your the reason I'm like this!_

**Not my fault that bakamono of a Hokage sealed me in you. Still don't know what the man was thinking, turning a thirty minute old kid into a Jinchuuriki.**** Mental, he was.**

_Leave him alone you stupid demon. _

_I had my reasons for doing what i did._

_Oh great, now the voice in the wind wants part of the conversation... Hey new person, how's about you tell me who you are before you start interrupting my private conversations with the teme?_

_Dunce... If i was just some random voice in the wind, would I...hell, should I... be able to hear what the baka says?_

Naruto blinked and said out loud, "Good point."

_Now before you two go any drive each other into doing something completely retarded, how about you listen to what my dear friend has to say?_

Naruto and Kyuubi both tilted their heads. _**What the hell?**_ was their joint thought.

_I see you've managed to drive each other batty,_ came the new, decidedly feminine voice.

_Okay seriously, can someone tell me what the hell is going on?_

**Yeah...I'm kinda lost too.**

_I see he's taken after you my love._

_Oh yeah.., he's exactly like me at that age. Just much more depressed._

_Still waiting for an answer here people._

_Dear god child, are you really that dense,_ joked the male voice.

**Been asking him that for years...**

_Quiet you!_ he yelled even thought he noticed a weird change in Kyuubi's voice. It almost seemed like he reconized the new voices.

**What, it's the truth ain't it?**

_Moving on..._

_Yes, probably a good idea to keep them from getting into a stride. I remember how hard it was to get you to stop talking at that age._

_Hehehe...yeah...I was a talker back then._

_People, soooooooooooooooooooo not in the mood for long winded memories. Can we get to the point of this little tryst into insanity that i seem to be playing right along with?_

**Kit..why don't you back up a little way in the conversation?**

_What the hell are you talking about?_

_"I had my reasons."_ repeated the male voice, which was starting to take on a weirdly familiar quality. _Seriously, I thought you would have worked through to that point by now._

Naruto was just about to open his mental mouth when the realization slammed into him like a ton of bricks.

Three...

Two...

One...

_No way._

Three distinct sets of laughter.

**Told ya your were the densest Ninja on the planet, Kit.**

_There's no freaking way._

_As you so eloquently put it, "Wanna bet?"_

_I don't believe it._

_What else could it be?_

_Oh... I dunno...Listening to Kyuubi prattle on for all these years could have finally driven me completely mental._

_Come on Naruto... is it that hard to believe?_

_Okay...Let's say that just for the sake of arguments...that I actually believe you. Gimme some proof its not just my inner demon being retarded like last year._

_He's got us there hun. Can't really give him much on the way of proof._

Naruto had the strangest sense of deja vu and the image of a smiling blonde-haired man popped into his mind.

_Turn around._

_Haha...very funny Kyuubi, make the baka turn around so you can project the image of yourself behind me like three years ago._

**I got nothing to do with this Kit. I really, truly don't. But believe me, the look on your face when you turn around is gunna be priceless. **

_What the hell are you talking about?_ he said as his curiosity won out and he turned around. His jaw hit the floor. And it stayed there. For a very, very long time.

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"Yo Grandma Tsunade! I gotta talk to you!" yelled Naruto as he dashed into her office, throwing a pissed off Raidou across the hallway.

"What now kid?" she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "If it isn't already completely obvious that I do not have the time for you, " she said as she motioned toward the piles of paperwork that littered her office, "Then let me spell it out for you. GET THE HELL OUT!"

"But it's important!" he whined.

"That's what you said yesterday when you wanted me to heal that little kitten you found on the side of the road. Or last week when you decided that Kakashi and Sakura weren't paying enough attention to you, summoned Gamabunta, and turned him into Kyuubi just to annoy the hell outta me. Or the time before that when you and that Inuzuka brat..."

"I get it, i know. Not who you wanted to see," he cut off before she could work up a decent amount of steam. "But this is really important!!!"

She sighed deeply, "What?"

He shoved a stack of papers of her desk and placed the box he held down reverently.

"What's this? You decide to be a nice little suck-up and get me a present?"

"As if... I'm not Sakura." He pushed it closer to her, "Open it!"

"If a bunch of frogs pop out and attack me I'm gunna kill you and then throttle that old pervert..." she muttered darkly as she reached for the lid. Lifting a corner up slowly, she peeked inside. No explosions yet. Taking that as a good sign, she lifts the lid completely off.

Dead silence.

"No way."

"That's what I said."

"You have got to be kidding me."

"My thought exactly."

"RAIDOU!!!" she screamed. "GET THAT DAMN PERVERT IN HERE NOW!!!"

A terrified squeak from the other side of the door.

"Is it real?"

"Wait for the old man."

"But...!"

"WAIT FOR THE OLD PERVERT YOU BRAT!"

Naruto wisely shuts up.

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**Your in for it now Kit.**

_For the love of all things holy will you shut the hell up!?! How many times and ways can I say leave me alone in one day!?!_

**Shouldn't a shown them the cape.**

_Go kill a pigeon you damn fox._

**Can't, im stuck inside your tiny little body moron.**

_Kiss my ass you over-sized demon plushie._

Kyuubi was silent for a moment. **Low blow kid. Low blow.**

_Like there's anything there to hit you gender confused he/she. (1)_

**Whoa there kid...You sure you wanna go down that road right now? I don't think the old lady would appreciate the destruction of her office so soon after the last time.**

_Your the one putting perverted thoughts in my head all day long._

**Get a girlfriend already. Or a boyfriend. I really don't care. I can't help it if I'm stuck here living my life in every aspect through you for the rest of your puny little life-span.**

_If it's so puny then why are you so whinny?_

Heavy sigh. **You really don't want to know the answer to that.**

_No... prolly not. Now will you please be quiet for a minute you gender confused demon plushie?_

**Keep calling me that and I might just pull a Shukaku and stop letting you sleep at all. **

_You already bearly let me sleep as it is!_

Kyuubi's rant is cut short by the opening of the door.

Naruto snaps outta his 'talking-to-demon-fox' trance when the door slides open and a very drunken Jiraiya is dragged in.

"Just great..." sighed Tsunade. "The damn lecher is drunk as a skunk. Just what I need..." She turns back to the door. "Raidou get me a bucket of ice water to throw on the annoyances."

Muttered "Yes ma'am.

**Geeze is she ever in a bad mood today...**

_What planet do you live on?_

**The one where I'm stuck inside a idiotic kid.**

_Oh just wait... I'll get you back one day... I swear i will._

**Just keep telling yourself that...**

"NARUTO!"

Naruto's head snaps up and he stares confused at Tsunade. "What?"

"Quit talking to your inner demon for a minute and tune into the real world."

"Okay..."

**Stupid Kit.**

_Teme!_

"Naruto! Eyes front. Tune the freak out for a second."

"Yes, I'm here!"

"I'll bet," she smiled sweetly as she doused the snoozing curse-master with ice water.

Jiraiya jumped about a foot off the couch he'd passed out on. "Huh now wha!!!"

"Jiraiya!"

"What!"

"Breathe!"

He blinked a few times, trying to clear the fog outta his brain. "Wha's going on?"

"The brat here brought me something interesting. I want you to take a look at it."

Still blinking confusedly, Jiraiya replied sagely, "Brough' ya somethin'? Wha' somethin'?"

"Focus you old pervert!" she yelled as she snapped her fingers in his face. She grabbed the nearly forgotten cape and shoved it in his face. "Recognize this??!"

Jiraiya stared stupidly at it for a moment before actually comprehending what he was looking at. His eyes bugged out and he sobered up faster than you could say 'icha-icha.' He took the battered old cape and held it up so that it didn't touch the floor. He hands shaking, he turned it around and looked at the back. His jaw his the floor and keep going when he saw the words written on the back.

"There's no freakin' way..." he mumbled.

"That's what we said," replied Naruto.

"Where'd you get this?"

"It's a long story. One best saved for after you tell me if that's real or a fake."

Jiraiya continued to stare. "It's real alright...I'd know that pattern anywhere."

"For real... It's the really real..." blinked Naruto.

Jiraiya was speechless. He just nodded.

Naruto passed out.

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A blast of hot air whooshes over him.

**Hello Kit. Been awhile since you last came here.**

Naruto groaned and thanked whatever deity up there that didn't hate him that he was on the one spot in the entire room that wasn't covered by several inches of Kyuubi's drool.

_Why me...?_

_Asking why all the time never solves anything._

_Oh great...your back._

_Don't forget about me._

_Oh yeah...it's the tryfecta of annoyances._

_Is that any way to talk to the fourth Hokage and his wife?_

_For what you did to me? I'm pretty sure that Karma's in my favor here pal._

**Such insolence...**

_You have no words in this play you demon plushie._

**Hey, i can talk to the jerk that sealed me in this hell if i feel like it.**

_For the love a...Someone shoot me._

_Come on son. It's can't be all that bad out there._

_Don't even get me star-_ Naruto blinked twice. _Repeat that last bit,_ he said as he stood up and turned around.

Yondaime Hokage was standing a few feet behind him, smiling broadly.

_Seriously, repeat that, because I'm pretty sure you didn't just call me son. Did you?_

Yondaime's companion (wife, Naruto remembered the other man saying) stood next to him, her red hair gleaming even in the dank and dark place.

BOOM

More deja vu.

The flashes of tearing sky-blue eyes.

Long red hair.

Holy.

Freaking.

Crap.

Kyuubi smiled from behind his gate. **Took you long enough Kit. Even I knew from the second I recognized their voices.**

_Remind me to kill you later..._ he replied weakly as he stared at the faces of the two people he'd never thought he'd meet.

They all stood still and quiet for nearly a minute.

_So I guess the yearly 'wait-a-little-longer' message finally means something?_

_I'd say so,_ said the Yondaime. _Now you gunna stand there like a bump on a log all day or you gunna come over here?_

_Neither._

_Pardon?_

_Neither. I'm gunna yell at you for leaving me alone with the jerk and insane villagers for the last billion years and then I'm gunna go over there and strangle you both._

_Dark much?_

_Your fault,_ he said as he flung himself toward them. _You try being completely alone for thirteen damn years of hell with no one but demon plushie here!_ he cried as he hugged them tightly.

_I'm so sorry Naruto, _sighed his father sadly. _If there had been any other way..._

_I know... It's just the years of repressed anger talking. I really didn't mean any of it._

_I wish we could have stayed with you..._

_I know._

_If only I'd been stronger..._

_Don't blame yourself. Blame him_ joked Naruto as he pointed toward the confined Kyuubi.

**Oh ha-ha. I am so going to make you pay for that Kit.**

_Be nice. _

**No.**

_Don't make me go in there and tear your vocal cords out._

Kyuubi meeped and shut up.

The three chuckled and went back to their rib-crushing hug.

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"Geeze the kid's been out for nearly ten minutes... shouldn't we do something?"

"Let him sleep. Its probably the only chance he's ever going to get to see them."

"Yeah... but is it really safe to leave him unconscious for so long? Aren't you worried about Kyuubi letting himself out for a little fun?"

"With Minato there? Not a bit."

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The little family sat on the dry patch talking for over half an hour before Kyuubi got the courage to say anything more. **Hey Minato. Don't you think your pushing it a bit? The longer you stay, the less of a chance you'll have of being able to see the Kit next year. Old man Shinigami isn't the most understanding type when it comes to visits like this. I still can't figure out how the hell you got him to let both of you come.**

_Ol' man Shinigami played a few too many games of poker against me. So now he owes me a lot more than he has any hope in hell of repaying before the end of Naruto's lifetime. But you are right. We shouldn't stay too much longer._

_What the hell? Why are the two of you acting like best friends all of a sudden?_

_You try listening to all his old friends talk about him all day long for eternity. After awhile you get to know a fella better than you would have ever wanted to._

_Okay..._

_Next time son, next time._

_Sure...I'll go with that..._

They all stood as Minato and his wife prepared to leave.

_Will I ever see you again?_

Minato grinned and Naruto felt like he was looking into a mirror.

_You see me everyday. Just look up._

_You know what I meant._

_Probably not anytime soon. Maybe someday. But there's always the wind. Try listening sometime. Ya never know._

_I will. Especially now that I know I'm not going crazy when i heard voices on the wind._

_Don't forget about your dreams,_ said his mother grinning. _Those are usually my idea._

_Really? Well, any chance you can be a little more careful when i have them, because they've been making it hard to sleep a lot of nights lately._

_Sorry son. It's not easy to send dream images. _

_That's okay... I understand... Don't worry about it. _

A weird looking new entity appeared behind Naruto's parents.

_Time for us to go son._

Naruto hugged them both again. He smiled warmly and then turned to the Shinigami. _Hey you, death god! Listen up! My name is Naruto Uzumaki and these are my parents! You better not stop them from visiting me again because if you do so help me I'll drag your behind outta hell and scatter you into oblivion! Believe it!_

The Shinigami gave no indication that he'd heard a word that Naruto had shouted.

_Did you hear me!?!_

No response.

_Why I outta...!!!_

_Naruto, calm down._

_Yes son, threatening the god of death is not a smart idea._

_I don't care! If he tries to stop you again I really will drag his ass outta hell and annihilate him!_

_Okay... I think it's time for Jiraiya to teach you the Rasengan... that might just work off a few years of pent up rage._

_Rasen-what?_

_Ask Jiraiya. He'll know what I mean._

_Okay..._

He parents smiled once more and moved to stand beside the Shinigami.

_Goodbye son._

_Be good Naruto._

_Remember that we love you, and that we always will._

_And that I'm truly sorry for leaving you with a burden like Kyuubi._

_Goodbye..._

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"Oh look, he's finally comming around."

"Took him long enough..."

"Rasengan..." muttered Naruto weakly.

"What was that?"

"Rasengan. Teach me the Rasengan."

Jiraiya blinked. "Daddy wants his son to know his favorite move?

Naruto nodded.

"Okay then... We start tomorrow."

Naruto groaned and sat up. "So was I just dreaming or did any of that actually happen?"

Tsunade tossed the cape to Naruto. "I'd say it happened."

Naruto smiled and hugged the cape tightly, inhaling the sent of his father for the first time since the day he was born. "What's this...?" he said as he reached into an inside pocket. He pulled out a battered old photograph. "Daddy..." he sighed softly as his eyes teared up. His father was grinning ear to ear, arm around the shoulders of his wife who held their minutes old son.

"Hey...there's something different about the cape..." said Jiraiya confused.

The words had changed.

Before it said Yondaime Hokage.

Now it said Rokudaime Hokage.

Naruto grinned happily.

It was gunna be a great day.

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AN 2: I seriously haven't got a clue were this came from. I think the 7 solid hours of reading Yondaime/Naruto father/son fics had something to do with it. And yes, I know they are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

unbelievably OOC.

I can't help it.

I just spent something like 55 hours straight reading Scrubs fics and now I can't stop thinking like Dr. Cox's talks. And it's re-hee-ealy pissing me off. But it is kinda fun. In an 'OMG I'm gunna kill myself for reading the entire Scrubs archive at one time,' kinda way.

Yeah... I'm really off right now. My brain's been checked out since last Thursday.

Anyway... I really need to get more from Shupoden. And yes I know I spelled it wrong. I have no beta. So sue me. I only have up untill Sakura and Chiyo's battle with Sasori. sigh

Anyway, i apologize again for the OOC and horrible dialog. It's getting hard to get anything done with a crazy puppy that wants in or out every five minutes, a sister that doesn't understand the meaning of a nastily growled 'leave-me-the-fuck-alone-I'm-trying-to-write', and working.

(1)I've been wondering this for awhile now, and feel free to hit me for the retarded question that's prolly been answered a bazillion times, but is Kyuubi a male for female? Or is he really just genderless, end of story?

Dunno, been bugging me for awhile now.

Oh, and for the love of god, someone that's actually read the chapters that keeps getting hinted too that explain who Naruto's real parents are and what there names really are, can you fill me in for future reference, 'cause the chances of me actually seeing said chapter anytime soon are next to zip and i reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy hate not knowing. And I really did like it when Naru's dad's name was Arashi...sounds waaaaaaaaaaaaay better than Minato in my opinion. I dunno, im ranting.

Again, feel free to smack me for my idiocy.

And since I can already sense the disturbance in the force caused by the massive flames that are about to be unleashed, how about you actually include some decent concrit with them. Then you won't look like such an idiot to the rest of us out here in fanfic land.

Just thought you should know.

Now it's time to head back to my home of Narukiba land for a few more chapters of Friends, School, Nasty Headache, and New Friend Yuki; followed by a romp back into my beloved NaruGaara land with a new story about who knows what yet but im still gunna write it. And maybe a Scrubs slash or three. And some Eureka if i have the energy. But prolly not. Hmmmmm some Ichi/renji sounds good right now too. Okay, time for some Bleach action. Hahahahahaha, told ya i was off today.

Holy cow...this AN is almost as long as some chapters to some of my older stories. Dunno why that seems so funny right now... Maybe it's all the candy and soda I been pounding down since i woke up this morning. Hehehehehehehe note to self: Let friends plan my next b-day party. With friends as insane as mine, my 21st is gunna be

ssssswwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

Now off to NaruKiba land. I feel like making new chapters finally. Yuss. An update for the fans. Too bad it's too late for Christmas.


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